Introduction
E-cigarettes are electronic devices that heat a liquid and produce an aerosol that can be inhaled.1 E-cigarettes are also called “e-cigs,” “e-hookahs,” “mods,” “vape pens,” “tank systems,” and “electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS)”.1 Smoking e-cigarettes is called vaping.
Most e-cigarettes contain nicotine.1 Nicotine is addictive and can be harmful to your child’s/teen’s developing brain.1 There is a common misconception that the vapor inhaled from an e-cigarette is water vapor and is not harmful. However, in addition to nicotine, the aerosol produced from e-cigarettes may also contain other harmful chemicals that can result in inflammation and irritation of the lungs and cardiovascular problems.2,3
E-cigarettes are the most commonly used tobacco product among teens.1 It has been suggested that e-cigarettes may be more appealing to children/teens because they may think vaping e-cigarettes is safer than smoking traditional cigarettes, e-cigarettes cost less than traditional cigarettes, and e-cigarettes don’t smell.3 Further, e-cigarettes come in different designs, colors, and sizes, and they can come in sweet, fruity, minty, and candy-like flavors, making them more desirable to children/teens.1
If you are worried that your child/teen may be vaping, don’t panic. There are many resources available to help. Let’s explore some of the side effects of vaping, the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal, ways to talk with your child/teen about concerns, and options available for getting your child/teen help to stop vaping.
Side Effects of Vaping4,5
- coughing
- shortness of breath
- eye irritation
- headaches
- mouth and throat irritation
- heart palpitations
- dizziness or nausea
- weakened taste
Symptoms of Nicotine Withdrawal6
Because e-cigarettes contain nicotine, an addictive substance, if a child/teen stops vaping, they may experience symptoms of nicotine withdrawal. At the same time, their brain and body are getting used to not having nicotine.6 Nicotine withdrawal may be uncomfortable but isn’t harmful, and the symptoms of withdrawal will lessen over time.6
Symptoms of nicotine withdrawal may include:6
- having urges or cravings to smoke
- feeling irritated, restless, or jumpy
- having a difficult time concentrating
- having trouble sleeping
- feeling hungry or gaining weight
- feeling anxious or sad
What Do I Do First?
Start by having a conversation with your child/teen. If you are worried that your child/teen is vaping, prepare for this conversation so that you do not enter the conversation panicked, anxious, or angry. Your child/teen will react similarly and get defensive if you are angry and upset. Remember that the goal of your conversation is to foster an open and honest dialogue, listen actively to your child’s/teen’s thoughts and feelings, and share your concerns. Be prepared to ask follow-up questions and avoid judgment or lecturing. The strategies for intentional communication will come in handy during this conversation.
- Ensure you have enough time for this conversation so it is not rushed or interrupted.
- Make use of an everyday opportunity to talk about vaping, like when you are watching TV or a movie together. For example, while watching a movie, you could pause during a relevant scene and ask your child/teen what they think of the portrayal. You could say, “Does this accurately reflect how everyone sees vaping?” “Do you think the characters are making smart choices regarding vaping?”
- Use an open-ended question to gather information. You could start the conversation about vaping with curiosity and willingness to learn from your child/teen. This might sound like, “Tell me what you know about vaping.” Listen actively to foster an open and honest dialogue. Then, share your concerns about vaping, but be careful not to lecture.
- Start the conversation with a direct approach. That might sound like, “What are some of the stories you hear from your friends about vaping?”
- Let your child/teen know you are there to support and provide whatever help and resources your child/teen may need.
- Several short discussions held frequently rather than a one-shot, long, drawn-out conversation will have a lasting “sticking” impact over time (meaning multiple, ongoing conversations/dialogues are more effective – not a one-and-done approach).
Now What?
There are generally two outcomes that result from having a conversation with your child/teen about vaping. One outcome is that you, as a parent or someone in a parenting role, feel better and are reassured that your child/teen is not using e-cigarettes. The other outcome is that you are still concerned. Let’s explore both outcomes and discuss strategies to help in both situations.
I Have Talked With My Child/Teen, and I Am Reassured That My Child/Teen Is Not Vaping.
Even if you are reassured that your child/teen is not vaping, it is still essential to assure your child/teen that you are available should they have questions about vaping or concerns about a friend who may be vaping.
Affirm your child’s/teen’s behavior not to use e-cigarettes.
The conversation opener might sound like: “I’m so glad we can have these conversations, and I appreciate you being truthful with me. I am also glad that you have made the choice not to use e-cigarettes or vape.”
Invite your child/teen to engage with you in conversation in the future if they have a friend they are concerned about or if they make the choice at any point to use e-cigarettes.
These conversation openers could look something like this:
- “I’m proud of your choices, and you should be too. I know that the pressure to try e-cigarettes at your age can be intense. Tell me a little more about what kind of pressure you’re feeling. Do you think others in your social circle feel similar pressure?”
- “You should be proud of the choices you’ve made. It can be hard when your friends are vaping, and you decide you’re not going to. Is there anything you could use for support if you do feel pressured to try vaping? Please know that we can talk about it at any time.”
I Have Talked With My Child/Teen, and I Am Still Concerned That My Child/Teen Is Vaping…
…And My Child/Teen Is Concerned as Well.
It can be difficult to realize that your child/teen might be vaping. Parents or those in a parenting role often believe that their child’s/teen’s behavior reflects them and their parenting. This can lead to parents or those in a parenting role wanting to deny that their child is engaging in risky behavior.
As difficult as it can be, having these tough conversations with your child/teen is essential. It is also important to remind your child/teen that, according to your household rules, using e-cigarettes or vaping is not permissible due to the negative impacts on their health and well-being. This includes experimenting or “just trying” e-cigarettes and the use of any other drugs. Work to withhold judgment and anger about your child’s/teen’s choices, keep your questions open-ended (avoid questions that only allow for “yes” or “no” answers), and be comfortable with silence as you and your child/teen process this conversation.
Possible conversation openers include:
- “I am concerned about your vaping, and it sounds like you might also be concerned. How can we work together to make some changes around this behavior?”
- “It sounds like we are both concerned about your vaping. The fact that you recognize this is an issue is an important step in making some changes. Let’s talk about ways to support you to stop.”
- “I appreciate you being open with me and am so glad that you want to make this change. Know that I will support and work with you on this.”
…But My Child/Teen Is Not Concerned.
Unfortunately, if a child/teen is using e-cigarettes, the nicotine in them is highly addictive, and the likelihood that they will just stop vaping is low. Without intervention, the problem continues to worsen. It is not because your child/teen is not strong enough or doesn’t have the willpower. Because of the impact that nicotine has on the brain, it is difficult for your child/teen to quit and may need your support.
The earlier you intervene, the easier it will be for your child/teen to get back on track. If your child/teen is vaping regularly, some resources can help. (See below “Additional Support” for more information and resources.)
Your child/teen may appear to deny that they have a problem with vaping. Use language expressing concern while withholding judgment and anger about their choices. Avoid questions that elicit only “yes” or “no” responses, and be comfortable with silence as you and your child/teen process this conversation.
You may find that the conversation gets complicated, and feelings escalate. It is okay for you or your child/teen to take a break. Be open to this and agree to continue the conversation at a specific future time if necessary. The conversation starters below assume some level of denial or resistance from your child.
The following possibilities take an empathetic, gentler approach:
- “I want to be open with you – I am concerned about your health and the impact vaping might have on it. Let’s talk about what makes it hard to stop so we can find ways to overcome those challenges together.”
- “I am really concerned about your vaping. I was your age once, and I know what it’s like to deal with pressure from friends and the stress of school and activities. I am here to support you, and I am also responsible for keeping you safe. Talk to me about how we can turn this behavior around.”
- Seeing you vape brings up some anxieties I have about your well-being. I understand there might be reasons you vape, and I want to hear them without judgment. Let’s talk about it.”
The following possibility takes a more direct approach for an ambivalent or resistant child/teen by connecting the behavior to the possible consequences of this choice.
- “I am really concerned about your vaping. Not only is it not permitted in our household, but using nicotine can cause health problems. Let’s brainstorm some helpful ways I can support you to stop vaping, whether providing distractions, finding resources, or just listening. We can also explore quitting options, like talking to a doctor or trying a support group. What do you think would be helpful? Remember, I love you unconditionally, and my support doesn’t depend on whether you vape.”
Additional Support
Even if you and your child/teen are both concerned and committed to working on strategies to stop using e-cigarettes, your child/teen might benefit from some extra help and support. Additionally, if your child/teen is not ready to acknowledge that vaping is a problem, additional support can help encourage needed change. Resources are available.
To find help in your community:
- Your child’s/teen’s pediatrician or doctor can provide health-based educational information for your child/teen.
- Reach out to a text-based program from the National Center Institute called SmokefreeTXT for Teens by texting QUIT to 47848.
- Call the National Quitline at 1-800-QUIT-NOW.
Closing
Remember that whatever your child/teen shares with you about why they decided to use e-cigarettes, it is likely a valid choice in their mind. It is important to listen without judgment and communicate that this is not a safe or healthy choice for them and that the behavior must stop.
Reassure your child/teen that you will support them in quitting. Keep in mind that while the choice to begin vaping may have been a result of peer pressure or the desire to “look cool,” their use may also be a way for your child to manage issues like stress or anxiety. Work with your child/teen to uncover the core issues and identify ways to handle these issues in a healthy and appropriate manner.
