Strong refusal skills empower teens to resist peer pressure around alcohol and drugs while maintaining their friendships. Here are some ideas you can practice with your teen to find their comfortable “no.”
Make your position clear. With confident body language, they can say:
- A simple “No, thanks.”
- “No, I’m good.”
- “I appreciate the offer, but I’m not interested.”
- “I appreciate your offering, but I’m serious about not using it.”
State your reason. Offer a clear reason why they are declining, like:
- “I’m not drinking tonight.”
- “I’m not interested in drugs.”
- “I’ve got to drive home.”
- “I’m in activities or athletics.”
- “I don’t feel comfortable using.”
Offer an alternative. Suggest a different activity, like:
- “Thanks, but I’d rather grab some pizza instead.”
- “How about we play a game?”
- “I’m down to watch a movie, but I’ll pass on the alcohol/drugs.”
Redirect the conversation: Change the subject, like:
- “So, did you see that new movie trailer?”
- “Anyone up for playing some music?”
- “Have you heard about the upcoming event at school?”
- “Honestly, I’m not feeling comfortable with this situation. Maybe we can do something else?”
Use humor. A lighthearted joke can deflect pressure, like:
- “Maybe next time, I’m on a juice cleanse today!” (said playfully)
- “My liver is begging me to say no, thanks!” (said lightly)
- “I’m a one-person dance party tonight, and it requires full focus!” (lighthearted but firm refusal)
- “My future self says ‘no thanks’ and sends its regards.” (playful way to deflect pressure)
- “I believe I saw a [funny/interesting thing] over there, gotta check it out!” (exits the situation with humor)
- “Wait, did I promise to call someone? Gotta go!”
Excuse yourself. If the situation feels uncomfortable, they can say:
- “I actually need to use the restroom. See you later.”
- “I see someone I know over there. Catch you later.”
- “I think I forgot something in my car, gotta go.”
- “Whoops, I completely forgot I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning! Can’t have anything tonight.”
Shift the focus. They can mention a prior commitment or responsibility, like:
- “I can’t. I have practice tomorrow.”
- “I promised my mom I’d be home early.”
- “Hey, I promised [friend’s name] I’d help them with something, gotta run.”
- “Actually, I have an early morning tomorrow, gotta catch some sleep.”
Be strong and assertive. Sometimes, they need to be more direct, like:
- “I’m not drinking, and I’m not interested in drugs. Period.”
- “Look, I appreciate you offering, but I’m serious about not using. Can we move on?”
- “My answer is no. Let’s talk about something else.”
- “I said no, and I’m not changing my mind. I have goals to achieve, and I can’t do that with alcohol or drugs.”
- “Respect my decision. If you’re my friend, you’ll understand.”
- “I wouldn’t ask you to do something you’re uncomfortable with, so please don’t pressure me.”
