Eating for Your 1-Year-Old

Now Is the Right Time!

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your one-year-olds success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-child relationship from the start, and developing healthy eating habits is a great way to do it.

Healthy eating habits begin in the early years, including developing family eating routines, giving your child choices about what and how much to eat, and modeling healthy options. Eating offers a time to learn about nutrition and socializing, making independent choices, sharing portions with others, impulse control, and contributing to the food preparation needed for a family meal.

Family preferences and habits are deeply influenced by culture and allow children to learn an essential part of their identity. When a child learns about their family’s eating habits and how they are different and similar to other families, they learn what makes their family culture unique and special. Eating together is an important part of childhood and can be a time for family bonding and making healthy eating a way of life.¹

Despite cultural differences in utensil use, spices, ingredients, and rituals, there are standard guidelines for healthy portions and food choices that are helpful for all families. Although it may be frustrating when your child does not always choose the foods or portion sizes that are the most healthy, ² it is essential to be flexible and patient. Being too rigid about eating rules will lead to disagreements and often make you feel that you need to reward or punish your child for what they do or do not eat.

Sometimes, parents and those in a parenting role end up using food as a reward (“If you eat three more bites, I will let you have a cookie”) or a punishment (“Because you did not eat a healthy breakfast, now you have to eat broccoli for lunch”). This can damage your relationship with your child, add to your daily stress, and result in your child not liking healthy foods. Rather than developing healthy eating habits, your child will comply with your rules and likely try to defy them when you are not watching.

Throughout the early years, children’s experiences with food will change as they can eat a wider range of foods and experiment with independence and exploration. Your child might find certain foods they like and others they are unwilling to try. Being able to control what they eat is part of their attempt to assert independence. Involving children in grocery shopping, vegetable growing, and food preparation increases their chances of trying various foods.

When trying something new, you might notice your one-year-old turn to you to see if you are there and make sure that it will be okay to eat. Your trusting relationship will give your child a sense that it is okay to approach a challenge because you are there for them.

We all face challenges sticking to healthy eating habits. As your child develops, though, it is essential that they can turn to you to offer suggestions for new foods to try, be patient as they experiment with new foods, and welcome them unconditionally to the family dinner table. The steps below include specific and practical strategies to help you build healthy eating habits and a relationship with your child that includes reliable and unconditional support and love.

Why Eating?

Your child’s openness to try new foods and engagement with others around the meal table is essential to developing lifelong healthy eating habits. You can begin by exposing your child to new foods that are just the right level of challenge for them, offering just enough support and patience for them to know they can trust you, and helping them recognize and feel a sense of success and empowerment when they master the experience.

Today, in the short term, healthy eating habits can create

• opportunities for your child to have new experiences
• a sense of pride and belonging in the cultural food traditions that are important to your family
• a sense of confidence that your child can manage a certain level of difficulty
• a strong connection between you as you navigate these challenges together and triumph in success

Tomorrow, in the long term, helping your child develop healthy eating habits

• develops a strong foundation for lifelong health and well-being
• provides a firm foundation for exploration and openness to new experiences
• builds skills in self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, responsible decision-making
• deepens family connection.

Five Steps for Growing Healthy Eating Habits

This five-step process helps you and your child develop healthy eating habits together. It also teaches your child essential life skills. The same process can be used to address other parenting issues (learn more about the process).

One-year-olds may communicate with you by babbling, single words, and crying. Pay close attention to your child’s facial expressions, movements, and sounds to understand what they are trying to communicate. Your efforts to learn from your child build trust and create empathetic interactions that let them know that you are interested in what they are thinking. This will make a big difference as you establish healthy eating habits.

Your child will give you many cues about whether a change or an addition to their eating routine feels too big or too small for them. Every child is different, and your child may change their willingness to take on new foods and habits daily.

You will know your child’s cues better than anyone else, and you will be able to anticipate whether eating something new and being flexible with expectations is right for today. Is your child feeling particularly tired? Did they just get hurt, or are they hungry? Knowing how they are doing and what their facial expressions and body language mean will help you decide if a challenge is the right size for your child right now.

In paying attention and noting minor differences in your child’s verbal and nonverbal expressions, you

• show them that they can trust you to notice how they feel
• let them know that you will help them to face challenges
• will help them advocate for themselves if something feels like too much for right now or if they need more support
• tell them that they can trust you to help them gain a sense of which experiences are right for risk-taking and which ones are not
• deepen your ability to communicate with one another

Actions

• Help your child notice their own cues to develop self-awareness and learn to trust their feelings. This includes describing and naming the pride they may feel when trying something new. Pointing out the healthy eating habits they demonstrate will help them notice their successes and know they are capable when the next challenge arises.
• Each time your child expresses any big feeling, be sure to name the feeling: “You seem angry” or “You seem happy.” This will build their vocabulary, adding to their self-awareness and ability to manage their feelings.
• When reading books, choose books that show families eating a wide range of foods and point out when they have healthy eating habits. “I noticed she had yummy blueberries for her snack. Mmmm.”

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, there is much to learn about understanding a child’s rhythms, temperaments, and needs. Because of all this learning, you will make mistakes and even poor choices. How you handle those moments can determine how you help build your child’s eating habits. Offering yourself the grace and permission not to be perfect can ease your anxiety in responding to your child’s needs. Learning about developmental milestones can help you better understand what your child is going through.³^

• 12-18-month-olds will respond to their name and may use 5 to 10 words. They are starting to combine words with gestures, follow simple directions, and remember recent events and actions. They may feel uneasy when separated from their loved ones.
• 12-18-month-olds are beginning to walk independently, stack blocks, and point to objects of interest.
• 18-24-month-olds can understand ten times more than they can speak, are starting to respond to questions, can point to familiar objects and people in pictures, and are beginning to follow two-step directions. They are also starting to want to try things on their own.
• 18-24-month-olds are becoming able to throw and attempt to catch a ball without losing their balance, enjoy playing with new toys in varying ways, and usually participate in getting dressed without becoming upset.

Teaching is different than just telling. Teaching builds basic skills, grows problem-solving abilities, and prepares your child for success. Teaching also involves modeling and practicing the positive behaviors you want to see, promoting skills, and preventing problems.

Actions

• Model healthy eating for your child. Modeling can be one of the greatest teaching tools. When you are hungry, choose something nutritious and make your thinking and feelings explicit. “I am feeling hungry, so I will grab some blueberries for a snack. I like blueberries.”
• Read and “pretend play” together. Use old food containers or pretend foods to play “dinner time” with your child. Use a takeout menu from a local restaurant that you like. Then, you can practice saying the names of the foods, being interested in them, planning to take a “bite,” and being curious about how they will taste.
• Talk aloud about how you respond to your big feelings: “That is one of my favorite foods, and I am happy that you like it, too.”

If you seize the opportunity, your daily routines allow your child to practice new vital skills. With practice and your support, your child will improve over time. Practice grows vital new brain connections that strengthen (and eventually form habits) each time your child works hard toward a goal or demonstrates belief in themselves.

Practice also provides valuable opportunities to grow self-efficacy – a child’s sense that they can try something new successfully. This leads to confidence. It helps them understand that mistakes and failures are part of learning.

To build healthy eating habits, it is essential to practice noticing feelings, giving your child a choice to try something new when they are ready, seeing the trusted adults who are always there to help, and remembering that the child’s strengths and pride in their own culture’s eating traditions can help them embrace family eating routines.

Actions

• It is okay to eat certain foods more often than others. Provide many opportunities for your child to be exposed to new foods and share eating routines with family members, even if it means mixing a small amount of the new food into another food that they already like. This will help them take one step closer to expanding their range of healthy foods, which will help them feel successful and develop an identity as someone who tries new foods.
• Provide age-appropriate books, dolls, and pretend food at home to give your child many chances to experience new foods and ways of eating.
• Use your child’s dolls or stuffed animals to act out moments of new habit-building. This is an excellent way to practice facing really big challenges. You could say, “Let’s give your doll a taste of this new food. I think she is going to like it. Maybe she can try just a little bit.” 

At this point, you’ve shown your child that you can be trusted to be there when they need you. Your child is learning to notice when they feel worried, fearful, or stressed when encountering a new eating situation. You can offer support when needed by reteaching, monitoring, and coaching. This support tells your child that you see their challenge and support them. Parents and those in a parenting role naturally provide support when they see their child fumble in a situation where they need help. This is no different.

Actions

• Learn about your child’s development. Each new age presents different challenges. Being informed about your child’s developmental milestones offers you empathy and patience.
• Recognize effort using “I notice…” statements like: “I noticed you tried the peas. I love seeing that.”
• On days with extra challenges, when you can see your child is scared of new people or situations, offer confidence in your child’s ability to face the new. In a gentle, non-public way, you can say, “Remember how last time it seemed like the new food would be bad, but you tried it, and it turned out to be yummy? I thought you might like this food too.”

No matter how old your child is, your positive reinforcement and encouragement have a significant impact.

If your child is working to grow their skills – even in small ways – it will be worthwhile to recognize it. Your recognition can go a long way in promoting positive behaviors and expanding your child’s confidence. Your recognition also encourages safe, secure, and nurturing relationships — a foundation for strong communication and a healthy relationship with you as they grow.

There are many ways to reinforce your child’s efforts. It is essential to distinguish between three types of reinforcement: recognition, rewards, and bribes. These three distinct parenting behaviors have different impacts on your child’s behavior.

Recognition occurs after you observe the desired behavior in your child. Noticing and naming the specific behavior you want to reinforce is key to promoting more of it. For example, “You tried blueberries for the first time—I love seeing that!”  Recognition can include nonverbal acknowledgment such as a smile, high five, or hug.

Rewards can be helpful in certain situations by providing a concrete, timely, and positive incentive for doing a good job.  A reward is determined beforehand so the child knows what to expect. A reward could be used to teach positive behavior or break a bad habit. The goal should be to help your child progress to a time when the reward will no longer be needed. If used too often, rewards can decrease a child’s internal motivation.

Unlike a reward, bribes aren’t planned ahead of time and generally happen when a parent or someone in a parenting role is in the middle of a crisis. While bribes can be helpful in the short term to manage stressful situations, they will not grow lasting motivation or behavior change and should be avoided.

Actions

• Recognize and call out when things are going well. It may seem obvious, but it’s easy not to notice when everything moves smoothly. Noticing and naming the behavior provides the necessary reinforcement that you see and value your child’s choice.
• Recognize small steps along the way. Don’t wait for significant accomplishments—like the whole mealtime going smoothly—to recognize effort. Remember that your recognition can work as a tool to promote more positive behaviors. Find small ways your child is making an effort and let them know you see them.
• Build celebrations into your routine. For example, after you’ve completed your dinner routine, snuggle and read before bed. Or, in the morning, once you’re ready for school, take a few minutes to listen to music together.

Closing

Engaging in these five steps is an investment that will strengthen your skills as an effective parent or someone in a parenting role on many other issues and develop essential skills that will last a lifetime for your child. Through this tool, children can become more self-aware, deepen their social awareness, exercise their self-management skills, work on their relationship skills, and demonstrate and practice responsible decision-making.